Stress is the worst thing about being human.

I try really really hard to not worry about the clock or what I'm doing when I don't have any plans for the day other than work. But I can't help but feel rushed and stressed almost every minute when I'm not doing something that I can deem "productive."

I went to the gym this morning, but so what. I laid out by the pool to work on my tan, so what. That's all I did today (other than get ready and clean my room) before coming to work. But so many things are pressing on my mind, the usual stuff, and I just wish there were like... five less things to worry about.

Usually, writing down a list of all the things I have to do or all the things that are stressing me out helps a little bit. I'm sure after typing everything up, all the things bothering me will seem silly or stupid. So here goes (for my sake more than anyone who reads this).

• Write a scholarship acceptance letter
• Print out, sign, and mail a contract
• Get work off for July 27th and a few days after, and figure out how I'm going to survive without the money I would have made
• Get my oil changed
• Buy groceries
• Practice the dang piano more so that when I go to my first lesson in the fall, I don't have to tell my teacher I hardly practiced all summer
• Finish "Thunder Motion" for Stephen

Okay yeah, nothing on that list is really going to take me very long other than practicing the piano for the rest of the summer. This brings me to the conclusion that the thing really stressing me out right now is money. This blog isn't supposed to be me complaining that I don't have enough money, or saying that I have a harder time with finances than anyone else, it just makes me feel better to write about it.

Just when I think I have plenty and I'm finally starting to build my savings again, something comes up, or my paycheck is less than I thought, or somehow my money just disappears. I know I buy soda, and sometimes clothes or things I really don't need, but I really do have self control when it comes to buying things and I really am responsible with my money 95% of the time.

I am poor right now, and my next paycheck isn't for 9 more days. And as soon as that paycheck comes in, $242 of it will go to rent, probably at least $45 will go to utilities, 10% to tithing, $45 cell phone, and I'm sure other things I'm not remembering. But even before then I have to buy groceries and I'm sure I'll have to buy gas and who knows what else.

And THEN I have to afford gas to drive to and from Provo. And I have to pay for food while I'm staying there for several days. And I still haven't bought a present for Kelsey for her baby shower. And I have to buy stuff for the shower.

I know I am forgetting to mention at least one other expense I have coming up... oh yeah. Getting my oil changed.

Gosh I guess my solution for this kind of stress is... when I think I have lots of extra money, don't spend it thinking I'll always have that much. I need to put more into savings.

K I'm done. Sorry for that.