It was the weirdest thing. I woke up on my bed at 3:15 a.m., still wearing all my clothes and makeup, with no memory of what I was doing or falling asleep. Anyway. I got ready for bed and went back to sleep.
I woke up and started getting ready. Tyler Lambert was over again because he had gone to breakfast with Melinda and Carissa. I was invited too, but when I woke up to the sound of them getting ready, I didn't really feel like getting up so I just laid there and they didn't come in to get me or anything and I was fine with that.
Then I got the worst news ever. Chase is moving back to Provo. Like, next week. I remember getting this feeling when he told me he was going to be moving there for last summer. But this time he's not coming back. And this time I have more of my heart invested into what I was working on with him.
So, it'll be a miracle if I can write two more songs and then record all three of them when he comes down on Friday to pack his stuff. He's willing. I just hope he can finish producing all three in about a week, and also that Troy will edit my three dang photos and give them to me so Chase can start working on my album cover too. And I still haven't figured out how long it will take a graphics place to burn and print all my CDs.
Sigh. Now what am I supposed to look forward to? To work on to make me happy? To make me feel like I'm accomplishing something and progressing? Writing songs isn't fulfilling enough if I can't have a recording of them. And no one can be my partner like Chase is. Forgive me for all the melancholy talk, but that's just how I'm feeling right now. Just another reason to move back to Provo.
Well, I visited with my family for a few minutes at their house so I could eat some french toast with homemade buttermilk syrup. Then I went to the college to send Chase more recordings on the piano and to practice. Now I'm at work.
It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about. — “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist
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