day196.

Going places I've never been........ unintentionally.



So we drove back from the cabin really early this morning, so I got home and slept some more. I woke up and got ready and went to Sam's house to grab some clothes and stuff his mom had put together for me to pick up. You see, the plan was that I'd be in Kanab, and he'd meet me there on his way home from Page and then we'd drive home together at the end of the night.
Anyway. So I went to Kanab! I'm pretty sure it was only my third time there ever, and my first time driving myself. I had never even been to Kelsey's house before, and she's my bestest friend! That's why I went, to spend the day with she and Tyler and Sam. Only, because of the rain, Sam has to stay another day in Page so he didn't get to come :(
Well we ate at this place called Denny's Wigwam, went to cool gift shops, visited Moqui's cave, visited the Kanab "Angel's landing", and spent a lot of time at her house with her family. I even got to dye Brooke's hair, which is quite an accomplishment because Brooke basically has a long fro, which means lots of hair. It was a wonderful day.
I drove home at night by myself.
I was listening to Explosions In The Sky on the way home and I just hate that they thought of the line "All of a sudden I miss everyone" first because I honestly think that at random times quite often.
At one point I passed a deer warning sign, then I saw a deer and it scared me really bad, at which moment I realized the song I was listening to is called "It's natural to be afraid."
I kept wanting to turn off my headlights for just a second to see how dark it was because there was no one around but me for a while, but I was too scared that I'd turn them back on and there would be someone/something standing in front of me like in the movies.
I miss Sam. At least I had his shirt from his bag of stuff, and I wore it driving home. Before I got into bed I sprayed his cologne all over me and now it smells like him.

LOTS of pictures!
Oh, and I'm starting to do songs again.

I bought a shirt before leaving town.

 Kelsey's puppy Winter!

 Best friends.

 A love like theirs.

 120-year-old cash register.

 So beautiful.

 Sam's shirt!

 My friendship necklace. Kelsey's is the same but dark green.

day195.

Friday the 13th.
I woke up at 4 a.m. to go over Tony's route with him (the one I've only done once) before he goes out of town next week. I got home before 6 and went back to sleep thank goodness. Although during that sleep I had some of the strangest dreams..
Work work work.
Crap I forgot to call my grandpa and wish him a happy birthday. I wrote on his Facebook wall.. yeah I better call him soon. He's the best.
I helped my family make Navajo tacos for dinner.
Then I went to the most random place you'll never guess to try to record my song. I was interrupted my a text inviting me to a spontaneous over-nighter at Ty's cabin in Pine Valley. Although I'd already taken off my makeup and stuff, I rushed home and got some stuff together and met at Ty's for carpooling.
We squished into two cars - 11 of us - and off we went. We spent the night playing Catch Phrase, Mafia, looking at the stars, talking, and actually got some sleep.

I don't know why i look so ticked. This is about as natural as you get from me I guess.

 Beautiful day. Cool air plus a warm glow from the almost-sunset.

 Oh yeah my mom got me a new clock at the DI!

 At the cabin. I'm such a goof.

 Driving home early the next morning.

day194.

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." -Gandhi

Yes, I'm actually doing my blog at 9 p.m.

For work today, Allyson picked me up and we went around Sienna Canyon.

My family went out for dinner tonight at Texas Roadhouse for my dad's 52nd birthday! We just had German chocolate cake in the kitchen, his favorite kind. Ben made it from scratch!

Sam is in Page again, hopefully for the last time this time, so I'm bored tonight. I wish he'd been here to cuddle with me during this rainy-ish weather, or run around with me outside in the crazy wind and smoky-flavored air.

Oh yeah we also went to Big Lots after dinner for a sec.

 At Sienna Canyon today, little Miguel had to get into the pond.

 Awesome peanut is awesome.

 K yeah this picture doesn't really show it, but when we went into Big Lots the weather was normal, and when we came out it looked like this.

 Happy birthday, Scoot!

My gangster days. 

 We held hands in the car.

day193.

I went to work an hour early today so I could cover for Allyson and so that Keith could pick me up to take me to a business luncheon at noon. That was cool cause I got free food, including some super fluffy cheesecake for dessert.
After work I visited my mom at Deseret Book and then went home. Tasha and I then went to Walmart to buy our dad a birthday present for tomorrow! We always do that stuff last minute.
Then Sam came over and listened to me while I just talked. I was in the middle of a story when I looked out my window and saw Kelsey and Tyler just getting to my house and I screamed and ran outside and hugged Kelsey so tight. It's always so so good to see her and I love her so much. Seriously no one in this world will ever get me like she does. I know if there was some sort of game show where you had to know everything about your best friend, she and I would win.
So then the four of us all went out to Outback Steakhouse. I will always order the same thing there now because it was so delicious. I have only been there 3-4 times in my whole life though, so...
After that we went to Rue 21 and bought some stupid things. I'll show you this stupid shirt I bought tomorrow. Sam picked it out and it's so funny but not but it is. I'll also upload some pics that Kirsten took of all of us.
We also went to Cold Stone for ice cream before going back to my house.
So remember a week or so ago when a car followed me all the way home? Well this time, as we were leaving Cold Stone and got onto the boulevard, a cop car was exiting the freeway. That cop followed me all the freaking way home and we were getting so weirded out, especially me, because apparently this is becoming a normal thing in my life. So he parked on the side of the road a couple houses down from mine across the street. We got out of my car and watched the car just so confused, and two cops got out and walked up to that house's front door. We went inside and told my family the story and my dad said it's because there were drugs there or something.
So we all spent a little time outside on the porch watching the cops shine their flashlights and listening to them knock on the door yelling "St. George City Police. We know you're in there! Open the door!" Just like the movies and stuff.
My family went inside, then Kelsey and Tyler left, so it was just Sam and I. We came inside too and watched YouTube prank videos together and just enjoyed the stillness of night.
The best thing about Sam is that he's never, ever in a rush to leave me. Even when other people are waiting for him.
<3

day192.

I made a Facebook musician/band page today for my music. You can go to the page and "like" it by clicking HERE. I'll eventually get around to adding stuff on there so people actually know why I made the page!

Today was a pretty good day. Although I really need to move out of my parent's house. Possibly back to Provo. Unless someone wants to stop me...?

I went to Albertson's with my mom, Kirsten, and Connor and we saw Desi working there. It was her second day on  the job! Then I went to Sam's house and we drove over to RJ's house with Tyson and Jordan. Seth, Brett, and some other dude who's name I don't know were already there but I never saw RJ...

Then I came home. I'm chatting on Facebook with Sarah right now and she told me about this quote I found. It seriously gives me the chills and I become horrified just thinking of the possibility, but there's no doubt in my mind that it couldn't possibly be true.

"Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on Earth, the person  you became will meet the person you could have become."

day191.

After work today I went to Walmart to pick up a few needed items. I also got some Baby Ruth candy bars because I know Sam likes them and I wanted to have them for the movie.
So yeah we went to The Amazing Spiderman tonight. I love movies, especially action movies. Ahhh Emma Stone. Spiderman. I want to be Spiderman.. but a girl... just so I can swing around and climb buildings and stuff ya know?
Well after the movie we climbed a roof and that's as good as it gets for me. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
We got some Frosty's at Wendy's then went to the spinny park. It's crazy how many people are there at night, especially parents with little kids. So there we are, Sam and I sitting on the grass watching people play, when a cop comes and tells everyone to leave. "See those houses right there? Nobody lives in them. There'd be no one to hear you scream." Oookay creepy!

 The juiciest, sweetest plum I've ever eaten, and my bite is kinda shaped like a heart, so of course I had to take a picture...

day190.

Ahh what a sweet day.
Sam came to church with me. It's fun having Desi there now too.
I had a nice dinner with my family.
Tonight Sam and a bunch of his friends, including a couple he hadn't seen in a while, got together for a big Halo night. Right in the middle of it Sam left to come be with me. Even though at least 3 of his friends called him, he stayed at my house and played Boxers or Briefs with my family and I. He told me he'd stay an hour or two, but ended up staying over three hours hanging with my family and then cuddling with me.
It was just such a nice thing. I know he cares about me a lot, not only because he says so, but because he shows it.
:)

 Okay I know this is the saddest picture ever but even when he cries he is so cute. Don't worry, I made him smile right after this :)

day189.

Okay so today I finished season 2 of Pretty Little Liars and didn't start getting ready for the day til well past noon. I got all prettied up in a dress and curly hair for the fun of it. I finished writing a song today. I'll try recording it in some way, because I think it's a really good one. It has potential. Tasha and I got snow cones today.
Sam and I had planned yesterday to drive to the temple today just to look at it and stuff together, but that didn't really happen. But he picked me up around 6 and we went to Beijing Buffet for dinner. After that we went to Brett's dad's house to watch UFC for the next 4 hours.
Sam was driving me home and suddenly we were in front of the temple. I was surprised and it's always nice to see that beautiful building lit up at night.

day188.

Friday Friday what happened Friday. This is what happens when I wait a whole day to write about the previous day... crap. Ummm.
I went to work of course. My family went to Dairy Queen to get ice cream.
Sam got home around 10:30 and I went to his house and we watched tv with his parents and Tyson. I fell asleep there but don't worry, my mom called me in the middle of the night to wake me up.
That's all I remember.

 My mom got these shoes for me at Ross. 

 My boss brought me a snicker doodle cookie and a black cherry smoothie. It was weird-tasting.

 Oh yeah I also went to the library after work and got some books.

 Best friend Kelsey drove all the way from Illinois to Colorado where her car broke down in a small town called Vail. She loved it though. This is a picture she sent me. Isn't she so beautiful?

day187.

I made my awesome brownies today.
Also, I was pretty bored tonight and I made a super stupid recording. The words are all one take, cause I didn't care, so whatever. It was fun I guess.
And Sarah and I have funny conversations on Facebook sometimes so I took some screenshots of those. Isn't my life so exciting? I just want Sam to come home already. Kelsey is on her way here from Illinois !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we're going to go see her in Kanab!!! Oh and I guess if you wanna listen to my stupid recording.

Click here to listen to tonight's jammin.

I hate when I get in bed and realize I haven't taken any pictures all day long.

 Oh and this made me smile. Mostly because I had to wait almost 8 hours to get this text because Sam spends that many hours up on a tower doing work and he can't text me.

pour my soul out.

So I usually only post at the very end of the day to write the mundane and uninteresting things that happened to me just in case my mom feels like reading about it.
But right now I just feel the need to write - or type - for no reason at all.

Like right now I'm sitting at work and I feel so restless. I want to get up and go somewhere but I have no idea where. I just feel like there are so many adventures and people out there waiting for me but I don't know where to find them. I can't stop feeling like there is something way bigger out there that I need to be a part of.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
I was just reminded of how badly I want to go to Iceland. Any pictures or videos I've seen of it tell me that it is an incredibly beautiful place.
I'd love to sit on this bench.

Or live in this house and have to mow the freaking roof. Or let it grow forever. Who cares.

This is me okay? Let me just tell you what sounds like the most heavenly thing I can think of.
I'd live in that house. Only it would be a lot bigger with underground tunnels and such. And actually it'd be nice if it were taller because I've like lots of windows with a nice view. And I want a wrap around porch and stuff, so maybe something more like this.

But maybe that's a bit much. I don't know. I want a warp around porch with a swing chair on it, and some rocking chairs too. I also want lots of big huge trees with tire swings and the other kinds of swings and a tree house and a big field of grass to run in and a big field of flowers to frolic in. And a forest behind my house to explore in. Then there would be a river running through it and I'd have a rope swing. Like this but with more trees. And golden sunsets just like that.

And just around the corner would be an equally awesome house with Kelsey and Tyler living in it. On the same street would live my family and all my friends and all my favorite bands. In the middle of the neighborhood we'd have a huge outdoor stage so we could play music all the freaking time for each other. I'd have a home recording studio with all the best recording stuff and my own personal producer. I want a room full of instruments and accessories and beautiful things. I want to be famous and have fans who love my music. I want to draw on shoes for people who can't wait to buy them. I want to be a model for photographers all over the world and get to travel to every country. I want to be a part of everything.

Seriously my dreams are so huge and worldly that it drives me insane. But at least now you know what kinds of things are constantly welling up inside me. Sort of.

Did I also mention that I would share all these things with someone I love? Someone I'm meant to be with, who I belong so perfectly with. In love forever perfectly.

day186.

My family and I woke up early-ish to drive to Cedar City for the parade like every year. I actually think it was the first time in a while that I spent all day with my family on the 4th. Last year I was in Provo alone.. sort of. Anyway, the parade was alright, then we went to the park where they have all the activities. Kirsten and I got up on stage and sang karaoke together and that was fun. We picked up some KFC, another tradition, and ate it at my grandma's house in her big backyard with a bunch of family. I was pretty tired and my eyes were bothering me so I was a little glad when it was time to go home. First thing I did was take out my contacts and put on dees glasses.
Later we all went to Cafe Rio, except Desi cause she ditches us for her friends every chance she gets. Then my mom and I went to TJ Maxx just for a second before heading home. I got ready and met a bunch of people at Ty's furniture store. They'd taped off the parking lot for us to watch the fireworks. Then Travis, me, Chad, April, and a couple other people walked up the hill behind the buildings so we'd have a better spot to see the flaming waterfall.
I just wish Sam could've been there. He's still in Paige working. It's been a long time since I've had a boyfriend to spend any sort of holiday with. I don't remember the last time I got to kiss someone during fireworks.
But he'll come home soon and I don't think he'll have to go back again, and I can't wait to spend more time with him. He really is a great guy who treats me so well.

Just my nephew being cute.

 I think this blurry picture of a firework is pretty.

 The flaming waterfall!

day185.

I seriously did nothing today except go to work.

I even forgot to take a picture until I was lying in bed.

day184.

Monday... it was a normal day. I went to work, and Keith and Allyson are finally back. So I don't have to come to work in the mornings anymore which is super nice.
Sweet potato fries at Smash Burger. Mmmmm.
I went to FHE and had a sundae.
When I got home, Desi's friend Makenzie was there and asked me to go to Menchie's with her so I did that too.
And yeah.

 Ummm this kid ate our object lesson.. which was ice cream with ketchup, mustard, ranch, and salt and pepper. He ate it all.

 Frens.

day183.

I just smushed a bug on my screen. Ew.

Church was good today. Heard the testimony of a guy who got out of jail a week ago. Interesting stuff.
I went home and had a delicious dinner with my family before making my way over to Sam's house. His brother got married yesterday, so all his siblings and their spouses were in town, plus a few kids. Sam has 5 older brothers, and now he's the only one not married yet.
We sat around the pool, watched the cute kids named Crew and Sully, and I can't remember the girl's name. But they were so cute. I caught an itty bitty baby lizard in the backyard!
Sam's family is so awesome. They're always cheering. They cheered when I first got there, cheered when Sam and I came outside to watch the kids so they could play volleyball in the pool, and cheered when we found firewood. I love it!
Sam and I came to my house for a bit cause my mom wanted us to, and we also visited Desi at Subway for her last day of work. But when my mom found out that Sam's whole family was in town, she made us go back over there. We were there for a bit before we went to RJ's house to see all the same people as last night. That place is seriously so cool. They have a fridge just for drinks.

Goodnight.

I wore one of Kelsey's dresses to church today.

 I got home and found that Sam left his hat in my car :)