It was the weirdest feeling I can have ever experienced. I said goodbye to this boy on November 17th, 2009 around 8 pm outside my parent's house in St. George. I knew I wouldn't see him for two whole years.
So the day before Thanksgiving. November 23rd, 2011, I drove down to St. George from Provo at 6:45 a.m. with Nate Rice and his girlfriend, Ashlie Gilbert. I spent the day getting my nails done and getting things ready. That evening I helped Jeremy's parents, Sammie and Steve, preparing for the following day's events. I painted posters, I set up a table with mine and Jeremy's "love letters." I actually slept quite well that night.
The next day. Thanksgiving. Jeremy due to arrive to the new St. George airport at 12:29 pm. My whole family, his whole family, everyone was there. I felt like I was being watched, in my brand new outfit, as I felt a million different emotions streaming through my mind. Was this really happening? No way. But if it's not, why am I standing here with all these posters and all these people? Has it really come to an end? But.. but it's always been this thing that was never going to happen. 15 months to go, 9 months, 6 months, 6 weeks, 2 weeks, 2 days... it's today. That's what I was thinking. No. Way. I could never be ready for this. Was I supposed to be feeling more ready? What was I supposed to be feeling? I couldn't really breathe. Word came that he was to arrive at 12:13. It was 12:07.
Oh my gosh I haven't seen him for two years. What will he look like? Will he think I'm pretty? Will he hug me? I don't think he's supposed to, but will he anyway? What will everyone else do? What will he say to me? Will I see him and still love him?
His plane is flying in. I see it. Landing on the runway. I run down the stairs into the waiting area and everyone follows behind me with their balloons and posters.
I'm standing against a brick wall as everyone assumes their positions. I can see Jeremy's fellow passengers passing through a room behind some glass doors and windows toward us. Here he comes here he comes here he comes. I hear someone say "There he is!" and I literarlly scream. I'm screaming his name and crying and becoming hysterical. Is this real? Then I see him and it is the weirdest strangest most wonderful most normal feeling in the world. There is my love, right there, right in front of me. I haven't seen him for two years, he wasn't real during all that time, I forgot his love, but there he is. Right. There.
He hugs his mom. Then his dad. Then both together. I am staring at his face between their two heads and he glances at me.
Then he let's go. I'm standing right there, everyone else at least 5 feet behind me. He walks toward me slowly, reaches out his arms and I am instantly surrounded by them. What a glorious hug. What a glorious feeling. He hugs me so tightly, then he pulls back and holds me in his arms while he takes a good look at my face as he says, "It's so good to see you!" And I melt. His smile is so beautiful. His real smile, not the frozen one I see in pictures. His real face. His real voice. His real laugh. All in person.
He hugs me again and again until he says "I have to say hi to everyone else, Ash!" and he does. And I have tears running down my cheeks, and I can't contain myself.
I never ever want to forget those feelings. The feelings of when I saw his plane, then when I heard someone say they saw him, then when I saw him, then when I waited for him to hug his parents, then when he hugged me, then when he looked at me, then everything after that.
No comments:
Post a Comment